Class Prefects: Because Free Child Labor Builds Character

Middle school’s biggest scam: student council. But not the executive type, the boring stuff. Middle school student council is just a title for unpaid labor. And it’s not even exciting! Poor middle schoolers don’t even get flex privileges for their “respectable posts”!

Look, don’t get me wrong, I know for some people student council is an HONOUR. Something they LONG for. But, fortunately or unfortunately, I’m not one of those people. To me, the student council just seems like a team of workers who do stuff for the rest of the class and teachers for free. UNPAID LABOR.

The Selection Process (a.k.a. Pointless Report Card Logic)

Our school just selects prefects by grades. The highest achiever just becomes the prefect by default. No observing behavior, no checking if the kid’s responsible, just pointless selection. Seriously, what does my report card have to do with my ability to “control” and “discipline” my classmates?

Because obviously, if you know what mitochondria are, you must also know how to stop your classmates from starting WWIII in the class. Like ma’am, I’m going to hold your hand when I say this: just because I know how Sher Shah Suri rose to power doesn’t mean I don’t yell and dance in class. 

And being realistic, I’m sure I’m the only kid that needs to be “disciplined.” I’m the loudest of the class, causing the most disturbance when I’m supposed to be shushing the CLASS. And don’t get me started on my OWN uniform. I look like I survived a zombie apocalypse, and you're telling me I need to make sure everyone else is looking neat?

The Actual Workload (a.k.a. Mom Duty)

Let’s start with class prefects. The poor prefects. I got selected as a class prefect this year, and bro, I’m on the verge of a breakdown already, recalling the stuff they made me do last year as prefect.

For example, uniform checks (DURING LUNCH TIME). “Go make sure those sixth graders aren’t wearing pink socks.” Like, hello? Am I their mom? Why do I go sniffing their feet and pulling their hair?! They should be responsible enough to do that THEMSELVES. I did not sign up for mom duty.

And that’s just one example. We also get stuck with stuff like: “Pick up the trash after lunch.” or “Turn off the lights after leaving.” Like school, if you’re short-staffed in janitors just say that. No need to make an elaborate disguise as “student council.” (If you think about it though, the school is basically training us for janitor/investigator/security jobs all at once.)

Prefect = Professional Janitor + Babysitter (Without Pay)

The Role Model Burden

As a member of the student council, I’m supposed to be a “role model” for my fellow students. I need to be more mature and responsible to create a good reputation. I have to be responsible enough to correct them, and motivate them to behave.

Like excuse me?! If they can’t quit snorting in biology class then that’s not my department of worry. Members of the student council shouldn't have to forsake their childhood fun to show random kids how mature they are.

When teachers say, “YoU gUyS aRe PaRt Of ThE sTuDeNt CoUnCil, YoU mUsT bEhAvE.” I hear, “Yeah so, students who aren’t in the student council can do all the troublemaker and fun stuff but they’ll get away with it, but if YOU even think about breathing the way we don’t like, you are a liability to this universe.”

I remember last year, all the student council members were gathered in the ground and yelled at for not wearing those SACRED badges. Like, lady, if it was something worth wearing, we would definitely wear it. 

Ok, maybe I am being too harsh, maybe it’s not so bad (OR MAYBE IT IS), but everyone has their own opinions, and I personally, despise student council roles and responsibilities. I get that some kids actually like being a part of this prestigious community, and LOVE being responsible. Cute. But that would never be me.  

Honestly, if they really want kids to WANT this, give us perks. Roaming-around-the-school pass. Flex privileges. A “Get Out of PE” card. Or at least—AT LEAST—let us skip the line at the canteen. Otherwise, this is just free child labor with a shiny badge.

And you know what’s funny? In a few years, none of us are even going to remember who the prefects were. But we WILL remember who had the courage to bunk art class. Tell me again—who’s really winning here? 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dear Teachers, Give Us Our Lunch, Not Your Life Story

Image
A tragic tale students know too well.    This title is probably the most universally familiar topic among students. Doesn't matter if you’re a topper, or an average student. Every person has gone through this tragedy, where they have to give up five prestigious minutes of lunch break. Usually, it's the teacher explaining homework from 2070, or just summing up the lesson—which honestly seems legal, considering how often it happens. I mean, the teacher’s just trying to cover the stuff we are learning. But the only situation that gets on my nerves is when the teacher keeps us waiting, because she’s telling one of her old tales. Like, I'm sorry you didn't get into Med School—life's tough, but girl, this isn't therapy. We just want to have a bite of food to put up with another 3 hours of blabbering teachers. It’s even worse when the teacher isn’t even telling us some educational, or motivational story, she’s rambling about her dog’s death. Like... sweetie, you want ...
Read more

Over Thinking: The Hobby I Never Asked For

Image
   Over Thinking: The Hobby I Never Asked For By Hoor Fatima Listen up folks, Gen Z and Gen Alpha, we've all got that one prestigious, addictive "hobby" we never signed up for: overthinking .  My best hypothesis is that it’s high in nicotine, that’s probably why it’s so addictive. But, on a serious note, we are the chosen ones, the "Over-thinkers." Who else would meticulously plan every detail of a birthday bash or re-analyze that one millisecond eye contact from five years ago? Only us. Now, let's cut to the chase, the reality of being an over thinker is nowhere near fun . I don't suppose sobbing in your pillow for thirty-minutes straight just because you thought someone was waving at you, but they were waving at someone behind you, is fun. Being an over-thinker is like a scientist scrutinizing everything about their experiment. We just have this habit of re-thinking, and over thinking the most basic, harmless interactions. Why? Mostly because we'r...
Read more

Washroom Wars: A Tale of Two Toilets

Today was my first day back at school, and I have to say, the washrooms are still a disaster. I mean, we pay thousands of rupees in fees, but our washrooms are like a bad joke. Have you seen the state of our girls' washrooms? It's like they're trying to make us cry... or maybe that's just the smell talking. So, our girls' washrooms have these pathetic doors. The locks don't work, and you can't even close the door properly. It's like a game of chance. Will you get the one with the broken lock? Will you get the one with the door that's stuck? Honestly, what is the school staff even thinking? “Hey, let's just leave it broken and hope no one peeks in!” Like, who thought this was a good idea? "Let's not fix the doors, let's just hope the girls can figure it out!" And then there's the water situation. It's like a mythical creature – we've heard of it, but we've never seen it. Is water in the washroom? No, it's a le...
Read more