Why Group Projects Are a Test of Patience, Not Academics

Look, I don’t mean any hate. If any of my former group-project-members are reading this, I sincerely apologize. This rant does not mean to offend any of you. Please take it as a light-hearted, funny story. Not something targeted at you.

Now, as I was saying, group projects really test our patience, not our academic performance. I think it’s a pretty solid debate. I honestly suspect it’s intentional. I mean, our knowledge can easily be tested through solo projects or exams—so what’s the deal with group ones? Therefore, group projects are a whole other story. 5% learning, and 95% torture.

In every group of five, there's always that one topper: perfection-obsessed and practically the CEO of the slideshow. They are the LEADER of the group, fixing everybody’s error, every flaw, and improving everything. They add allure to the whole project.

Then there’s that one person who only does the bare-minimum. They don’t even CONSIDER taking a look at the other slides to see if anyone needs help. They don’t even think about glorifying their own slide, adding glamour is always left to the topper. I’m always relieved when there are two toppers in the group, so all the burden isn’t on one person.

Then, there's that person who doesn’t do their part until the VERY LAST DAY. The ANXIETY that this person provokes is INSANE. My hands are always trembling, until I finally see this person online; starting their part at 11:59 p.m. 

There’s also that sweet struggler. They’re super hardworking, and are constantly trying, but still they lack the natural intelligence to make the project extraordinary. Don’t get me wrong though. This type of person is an angel. They are always the LAST to cause trouble. As long as they properly, vigilantly do their part ON TIME. I don’t mind. 

Finally, there’s that person who’s always slacking off. And they do NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And these are the type of people who get on my nerves! Like girl, I don’t care if you can draw anime characters with your laptop’s touchpad, DO YOUR DAMN PART! And they actually don’t do it. It’s always the group leader, or the perfectionist of the group who has to do it! 

Besides the typical members, let’s talk about the level of learning from these “crucial” projects. Our school is apparently implementing “Project-Based Learning”. I loathe it. Like, Ms. Teacher, you can't make us understand the difference between fats and carbohydrates by making our muscles burn with lactic acid for 45 minutes straight! I think that incorporating these projects is fine, IF YOU TEACH THE MATERIAL FIRST. Don’t leave it for us to “figure out”.

So, congrats—you’ve survived my very mild rant about this cursed group project phenomenon. May we one day live in a world where every member contributes equally, teachers explain the material before assigning projects, and the group chat doesn’t give us emotional trauma. Until then, I shall remain a tired, overachieving victim of “collaborative learning”.

"It's called a group project because one person suffers for all."